Bang Bang!

Don't worry about me
I'm just a bit of a broken doll
Cracks seen and unseen
Due to quite a few falls …

Harley is still very damaged and broken after her last encounter with Joker. She has a lot of bad nights, when all she does is lay in the middle of the floor of her panic room and laughs at nothing. She never really slept well in the first place... but these days she hardly sleeps at all.

Often it is just her laughing all night, curled up on the floor.

Other nights, she is taking down yet another Joker Gang on her world, beating up those who are tied to her ex-lover. Getting covered with blood and guts.

Some nights she is on her roller derby skates and spinning around the entire space of her panic room, just humming to herself. Those same nights she will get out her aerial silks, or an aerial ring, and just let herself escape the madness and the laughter for a few seconds of dance. Her movements are often poetic and sad. Chaotic and unplanned. No night ever the same.

There are a few moments when she is able to embrace a moment of joy and happiness, that makes it worth struggling with every other moment.

Like when she is visiting Thor, and helping either him, or those in the village regain their own sense of community. Or when she finds Dyane crashed out on her couch, and makes sure the woman has blankets and a plate of food and water waiting for her when she wakens. Or when she is anonymously dropping off donations for the Eirleos group at the Crossroads Cafe (keeping her distance because she doesn't want to upset Runa again).

She has days where she can take care of some of the kids, giving Loki some time and space of his own. But she can't given them her nights. Her nights are still too dark. Too hard. Too many monsters under the bed.

She has moments where she can go out for coffee with Adia and Caspar, or have a nice visit with Amelia. But there are still times when she will just space out and stare into the nothingness...

There are times when she stands in front of the memorial in her panic room, and traces her fingers over the faces of the people that are no longer in her life. Or takes out the feather that Beezlebub gave her, or traces her fingers over the worry beads that Aziraphale gifted to her. And tells herself that she does have people watching over her.

Every breath. Every moment. Every second is Harley slowing trying to reconnect the pieces of her own identity. Of who she wants to be. The Valkyrie. The Warrior. The Protector. The Harley Quinn.

She knows she can't do that when she is broken. And no one is going to pick up the pieces but her... but she is going to find a way. She will come out of this stronger and more determined than every.

She is... Harley. Freaking. Quinn.

It was really nice that Coney Island had appeared in the Nexus. Harley had quite a time in her element, and it was great that several other people had a chance to relax, enjoy the rides and the food, and just spend quality time with their loved ones.

And there was some cleanup required afterwards, so Harley was busy making sure that the Nexus plaza was back to normal (no garbage or debris around), and that those from Coney Island that had traveled to the Nexus were back in her home universe where they belonged.

She was cleaning up some garbage one day, when she felt that 'someone is watching me' sixth sense. When she stood and turned, she spotted an elderly man dressed in butler attire, and wearing pale white make-up with bright red lipstick over his lips, who was walking towards her. Right away, Harley knew who it was -- Jeeves, as she called him, one of Joker's loyal goons (who actually was part of Joker's gang for as long as she remembered).

Fuck fuck fuck She cursed silently, wondering if the appearance of Coney Island had accidentally brought Jeeves or other Joker goons to the Nexus. Out of caution, Harley had her bat in her hand. She knew that Jeeves himself would not attack her (he was not the type), but wanted to be prepared just in case there were other Joker goons around who would attack her.

"Miss Quinzel..." Jeeves spoke in a raspy voice, as he held out a package. Harley shook her head, refusing to take it. She did not want anything from Jeeves, especially since it meant that he was delivering a gift from Joker.

Jeeves tapped the gift-wrapped box, and held it out to her, insistent that she take it, despite her refusal. And he just stood there, holding it out for her, while she shook her head. That was the one thing about how loyal Jeeves was -- Harley knew that he would keep on trying to do his job (which was to deliver this package), and would eventually neglect himself by not eating or sleeping, if she kept on refusing to take the package from him. And dammit... Jeeves was still okay in her eyes. He never abused her, he never yelled at her, and he had taken care of her a few times. So Harley didn't want him to punish himself, just because he couldn't finish his task.

Harley took the box from him and sighed. "Fine."

Jeeves continued to stand there, and he signaled for Harley to open the box in front of him. Harley rolled her eyes at that. Of course Joker knew that she was likely to burn the stupid thing, without even seeing what was inside. Of course he told Jeeves to make sure that she opened the box, to see whatever stupid gift was inside.

"I really hate that man..." Harley put the box down, and took out her Ice Dagger to unwrap the gift with -- not daring to touch the wrapping paper or the ribbon with her hands. Sure she couldn't get poisoned, but she didn't want something nasty on her hands right now.

Inside the box was a large photo album. Harley arched an eyebrow, and stabbed the front of the album to bring the object outside, planting it on the ground too. Using the dagger to turn the pages (refusing to touch the book out of principle), Harley noticed several torn photos of her and Joker at the start of the book. It was like a very creepy montage of their lives together. He even including little newspaper clippings of their crime spree in Gotham.

Once upon a time... the old love-sick Harley would have been over the moon with the effort. But the wiser Harley Quinn of today knew that it was all part of some sick game that Joker was playing. And sure enough... near the end of the photo album, the pictures changed. There were several photos of many different Nexus locations in a stylized black-and-white tone, with splashes of red streaking across each of the photos. Harley knew enough of Joker's photography techniques to recognize that he had taken these photos himself... which meant that he had access to the Nexus.

As she turned a few more pages, where there were portrait mosaics -- of unknown faces, made from several photos of different people. And Harley started to recognize some of the pieces of photos. That was Caspar's eyebrow in one photo... and Amelia's lips in another... and Cricket's eyes in a third... She felt her heart beat fast and hard in her chest.

Jeeves walked away from her, as Harley sat down to slowly stare at the torn up photos of several of her friends, and some people that she just met (Danny), and some people she did not recognize. She knew then and there that Joker was telling her that he could get to any of these people, that he had gotten close enough to get their picture, and there was nothing she could do about it.

Joker was in the Nexus. This was serious. Harley had to make some text messages.

Harley is feeling a little better since returning back to the Nexus, especially after returning to her world with a couple of friends.

And while her mood is improved, there are still a couple of loose ends that she really wants to take care of.

One of those includes a coffee with Amelia. So Harley texts her quickly, Hey beautiful, free to grab a quick coffee at the Nexus café?

It will be easy for Amelia to find Harley when she shows up, as the blonde woman is wearing a very vibrant vintage-styled dress.

After getting some help from Steve, it didn't take Harley long to get settled into a new Nexus apartment. It was a nice cozy apartment, which she could make her own. And some might question the fact that everything was in a reduced space, but Harley loved it.

A dining room, kitchen and living room were all on the main level, while her bedroom was on an open concept second level.

The size of the apartment was comparable to the cage that she had lived in during her time at Arkham. So the size was perfect to Harley.

And now that she was settled, she sent a text to Amelia.

Hey beautiful! Want to check out my new place? Harls